I've asked many brides how they felt when they were walking down aisle. The word they most often use is joy. "I just felt so much joy," one bride told me. "It's hard to describe. It was overwhelming."
But brides often feel nervous too. And it's okay if you do. Being nervous doesn't make you a bad bride.
If you feel jittery when the processional begins, it means that you hope you'll remember your vows, and that your bratty two-year-old cousin doesn't start screaming in the midst of those vows. That you're afraid you might cry, that your mascara will run and ruin your perfect makeup. That you want this day will be as wonderful as you've pictured it to be.
If you're a bride that hates being the center of attention or if you're worried you might feel nervous, here are some tips on how to stay calm and enjoy your ceremony:
1. Be prepared. This one goes without saying, but write your vows ahead of time and practice them. Or if you're going the traditional route, read over your vows the night before. Say them aloud a few times so you become comfortable with the rhythm and sound of the phrases.
2. Get a good night's sleep and eat a healthy breakfast. How are you supposed to keep a clear head when you're hungry and starving? Exhaustion and low blood sugar will only amplify your nerves.
On the other hand, avoid "uppers" like caffeine and excessive sugar. If you usually have a cup of coffee in the morning, then go head and indulge. But don't consume any more than you normally would. Then same goes for alcohol and rich, greasy food. Or anything else that could irritate your stomach. No one likes a puking bride.
3. Figure out what works best to calm your nerves. Are you the kind of person who needs a few moments of silence to be still and calm? Do you need to "center" yourself? If so, consider slipping away for five minutes while the guests are still finding their seats. Bring a journal to jot down your thoughts or listen to your favorite playlist on your iPod.
Or are you the type who needs to release all the pent-up nervous energy? Does a little activity or movement distract you from any stress you're experiencing? Then pack some music for the pre-ceremony downtime and do a little dance with your bridesmaids to your favorite song. After all, music is an instant mood booster.
4. Opt for a "First Look" photo shoot. Photographers will offer to do a short shoot before the ceremony of you and your fiancé seeing each other for the first time on your wedding day. Personally, I don't want to see my fiance before the walk down the aisle. But I've heard a lot of brides say that having a few quiet minutes with their soon-to-be-husband helped them calm down before the big event.
5. Chew gum, preferably something minty to freshen your breath. The chewing motion helps relax your jaw and neck muscles, which is where a lot of people carry nervous tension. Just make sure to spit it out before the processionals starts!
6. Recruit a bridesmaid to give you a quickie shoulder rub. Nothing works better to relieve tension than a massage, even one that's short and sweet.
7. Visualize the entire ceremony from beginning to end. This is common technique of public speakers, performers, and professional athletes. It will help you focus on the moment at hand and allow you more immediate control over your actions and reactions. Use your imagination to walk through each step of the ceremony. Picture how you will walk down the aisle slowly and gracefully, how you will take your fiancé's hands and say your vows without stumbling on the words.
8. If you are religious or spiritual, pray. This is what my sister did right before she walked down the aisle. And you know what? It worked. She stayed calm, she didn't fumble her vows, and she was able relish every minute of the ceremony. If you're not religious, consider repeating your favorite mantra to yourself. Say it with me: Keep calm and carry on. Rinse and repeat.
9. When in doubt, close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
What do you think? Are you prone to nervousness or stage fright? Do you expect to feel nervous before your vows?
