In Which I Buy A Fabulous Dress And Subsequently Have A Panic Attack

A few days ago, I told you a little about my Adventures in Wedding Dress Shopping. I was hunting for the perfect dress, and I was adamant that I would find one that fits my criteria: it had to be relatively "danceable" dress; white, NOT ivory; a slim-fitting silhouette; not lace but not too modern; and most importantly, a unique and glamorous style that made me feel great.

So how'd I do? Why, it's so nice of you to ask!

Dearest Fiancé, GO AWAY NOW! I mean it!!
Or you'll lose all back rub privileges for AT LEAST a year! 

Shopping For Wedding Vendors: A Few Ways I'm Keeping My Sanity

by Samantha, via Wikimedia Commons

How many wedding photogs are there in Chicago? Only a gazillion or so. How many DJs and bands for hire? Way more than I can count. And reception venues? Don't even get me started.

The metropolitan area of Chicago has, quite literally, thousands of talented and professional vendors who are happy to provide their services at your wedding. Unfortunately, it's your job to sort those vendors to find the ones who are perfect for your budget and style.

Now I'm a persnickety person with an obsessive streak and control issues, so my natural inclination is to spend hours slogging through lists of bakeries, photographers, and officiants. But as I found out rather quickly, it can be time-consuming and overwhelming. I had to figure out ways to shorten the search so here's what I've done so far:

1. Ask your friends. Browse your friends' wedding albums and ask which of their vendors went above and beyond on the big day. Some of them may even have personal connections with vendors (which may translate into discounts!). One of my married friends sent me a link to her online album and the name of her photographer. If she says her photographer was great, then I definitely want to check him out!

2. Narrow your search based on location. If you choose a bakery or florist a few miles from your reception site, they may be willing to waive any delivery fees since the distance is negligible. At the very least, you may be able to negotiate lower fees. And if you choose a photographer who has previously shot weddings at your venue, he may be familiar with the layout, the lighting, and the best spots for portraits. That kind of knowledge will translate into better photos and a better album after the event.

3. Select a few large resource websites to search for vendors. Pick two or three that you like, preferably the ones you find easiest to navigate. You've already tried The Knot, right? I also like Wedding Wire, My Chicago Wedding, Chicago Bridal, and Chicago Style Weddings. Don't try to wade through every vendor catalog on the internet. You will go mad and start pulling your hair out. And you don't want to be a bald, crazy bride, now do you?

4. Throw in the towel and hire a wedding planner. I haven't gotten to this point yet, but I can see why some brides consider their planners a must-have. An event planner has been to a million weddings, dinners, and galas. She can recommend vendors she trusts and can sometimes negotiate lower rates. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me!

How are you searching for and choosing vendors for your wedding? Can you recommend any vendors or websites for me to check out?

This Will Be A (Gluten-Free) Cakewalk: Planning A Wedding With Food Allergies

So delish! I'm craving a piece of chocolate cake right now! (Via Style Me Pretty)

First, I should give a shout-out to Chelsea Clinton, who made life a tiny bit easier for gluten-free brides when she planned a gluten-free wedding of her own. Like Chelsea, I have a gluten intolerance. Fortunately I chose a venue well accustomed to catering gluten-free events. The venue consultant assured me that they prepare gluten-free dishes quite frequently and that she would work with me to draw up a dinner menu sans gluten. The cake, however, is a different matter.

Since I cut gluten out of my diet over a year ago, I have a new appreciation for piece of sweet, decadent cake. And if there's one day I want to enjoy an edible slice of heaven, it's my wedding day. Because gluten-free bakeries are harder to come by, I have several options. This could be a difficult choice!

1. I could go full monty and shell out for a big, fancy gluten-free cake. The upside is I could eat as much of it as I want. After all, it's my wedding! I want be able to eat the effing cake! But, and this is a huge downside, a large gluten-free cake will probably come with a big price tag.

Based on a some quick research, I'd estimate that a full-size sheet cake will cost around $150-$200. A regular tiered wedding cake will usually set you back at least $500, so a gluten-free tiered cake will very likely cost upwards of $700 or $800 (gluten-free flours and mixes are often double the cost of regular white flour). There are some aspects of the wedding I'm willing to pay big bucks for, but $800 for flipping cake? That's highway robbery!

2. I could serve regular cake and a gluten-free groom's cake. The added bonus here is that the groom's cake would be virtually free! My own dear mother is a fabulous baker and cake decorator. I don't want to saddle her with the job of making my main wedding cake. She's done it before for other people, and it seriously stresses and exhausts her. And she'll have plenty of other things to do to prepare for the big day. But a groom's cake, a smaller and easier creation, is something she could manage just fine. Still, I'll be a little sad when I have to cut into that beautiful cake and can't have a piece for myself.

3. I could serve a different dessert altogether. I'd need to talk my mother into this. Traditionalist that she is, she thinks our reception will be seriously lacking without a "real" wedding cake. But the brilliant bakers at Swirlz Cupcakes in Lincoln Park make the most yummy gluten-free cupcakes you can imagine. And Nitro Dessert Station offers a mobile ice cream maker, which means you can have fresh, homemade ice cream served at your reception. (I sampled their ice cream at a bridal expo. It was seriously scrumptious!)

What should I do? Should I spring for a gluten-free or should I go with a more creative option? Do you or any of your guests have food allergies? Will you plan a customized menu for your reception?

9 Ways To Calm Your Nerves Before The Wedding

(Via Keep Calm Ltd.)

I've asked many brides how they felt when they were walking down aisle. The word they most often use is joy. "I just felt so much joy," one bride told me. "It's hard to describe. It was overwhelming."

But brides often feel nervous too. And it's okay if you do. Being nervous doesn't make you a bad bride.

If you feel jittery when the processional begins, it means that you hope you'll remember your vows, and that your bratty two-year-old cousin doesn't start screaming in the midst of those vows. That you're afraid you might cry, that your mascara will run and ruin your perfect makeup. That you want this day will be as wonderful as you've pictured it to be.

If you're a bride that hates being the center of attention or if you're worried you might feel nervous, here are some tips on how to stay calm and enjoy your ceremony:

1. Be prepared. This one goes without saying, but write your vows ahead of time and practice them. Or if you're going the traditional route, read over your vows the night before. Say them aloud a few times so you become comfortable with the rhythm and sound of the phrases.

2. Get a good night's sleep and eat a healthy breakfast. How are you supposed to keep a clear head when you're hungry and starving? Exhaustion and low blood sugar will only amplify your nerves.

On the other hand, avoid "uppers" like caffeine and excessive sugar. If you usually have a cup of coffee in the morning, then go head and indulge. But don't consume any more than you normally would. Then same goes for alcohol and rich, greasy food. Or anything else that could irritate your stomach. No one likes a puking bride.

3. Figure out what works best to calm your nerves. Are you the kind of person who needs a few moments of silence to be still and calm? Do you need to "center" yourself? If so, consider slipping away for five minutes while the guests are still finding their seats. Bring a journal to jot down your thoughts or listen to your favorite playlist on your iPod.

Or are you the type who needs to release all the pent-up nervous energy? Does a little activity or movement distract you from any stress you're experiencing? Then pack some music for the pre-ceremony downtime and do a little dance with your bridesmaids to your favorite song. After all, music is an instant mood booster.

4. Opt for a "First Look" photo shoot. Photographers will offer to do a short shoot before the ceremony of you and your fiancé seeing each other for the first time on your wedding day. Personally, I don't want to see my fiance before the walk down the aisle. But I've heard a lot of brides say that having a few quiet minutes with their soon-to-be-husband helped them calm down before the big event.

5. Chew gum, preferably something minty to freshen your breath. The chewing motion helps relax your jaw and neck muscles, which is where a lot of people carry nervous tension. Just make sure to spit it out before the processionals starts!

6. Recruit a bridesmaid to give you a quickie shoulder rub. Nothing works better to relieve tension than a massage, even one that's short and sweet.

7. Visualize the entire ceremony from beginning to end. This is common technique of public speakers, performers, and professional athletes. It will help you focus on the moment at hand and allow you more immediate control over your actions and reactions. Use your imagination to walk through each step of the ceremony. Picture how you will walk down the aisle slowly and gracefully, how you will take your fiancé's hands and say your vows without stumbling on the words.

8. If you are religious or spiritual, pray. This is what my sister did right before she walked down the aisle. And you know what? It worked. She stayed calm, she didn't fumble her vows, and she was able relish every minute of the ceremony. If you're not religious, consider repeating your favorite mantra to yourself. Say it with me: Keep calm and carry on. Rinse and repeat.

9. When in doubt, close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

What do you think? Are you prone to nervousness or stage fright? Do you expect to feel nervous before your vows?